Why do we always take things personally?
There are quite a few viable and valid answers to that very common question of why we take things personally. But the one Marc and I have found to be most common through a decade of one-on-one coaching with our course students is the tendency we all have of putting ourselves at the center, and seeing everything—every event, conversation, circumstance, etc.—from the viewpoint of how it relates to us. And this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling hurt when other people are rude, to feeling sorry for ourselves when things don’t go as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect.
Of course, we are not really at the center of everything. That’s not how the world works. It just sometimes seems that way to us.
Remind yourself of the truth: What other people say and do, and the attitude they carry, rarely has anything to do with you.
Most of the time people do things and say things because they’ve been conditioned to, not because they consciously want to. People’s reactions and behaviors are about their perspectives, wounds and experiences. Whether they treat you like you’re amazing, or act like you’re the worst, again, is more about them and how they are viewing the world at a given moment in time. So, if you’re willing to view their behavior as indicative of their relationship with the world at large, then you will inevitably take things less personally.
Now, I’m certainly not suggesting we should completely ignore all the feedback and insight we receive from others. I’m simply saying that a significant percentage of the emotional pain, disappointment and sadness in our lives comes directly from our tendency to take things too personally.
In most cases, it’s far more beneficial and healthy to let go of other people’s beliefs and behaviors and to operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.
Just breathe, and give yourself the space you need. Weigh what you hear from others against what you know to be true. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace. Calmness is an absolute superpower in situations like these.
Yes, there is an incredible amount of power that comes to you when you detach from other people’s behaviors. The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours.
When you think better, you live better.
Written boy Angel Chernoff
Marc and Angel Hack Life
Practical Tips for Productive Living