Seth: “Generally in your society, you grow up taught by many sources that self-disapproval is a virtue. Both religion and science, parents and schools, stress that idea, and it is one of the most important causes of mental alienation, spiritual and physical distress.
Behind all of my suggestions and attempts to help you lie realms of historical culture, or personal episodes, that go back to that main unfortunate habit of self-disapproval regarded as virtue. I do not see particularly a benefit to outlining the origin of the concepts throughout history, and you can for yourselves trace them in your personal lives. The intellect’s function seems largely that of a critic.
You are taught to question your motives, your behavior, your feelings, and everything but your beliefs. When you really believe disapproval to be a virtue, and you believe in virtue, then you obviously find yourselves in a position where the more you disapprove of yourself the better person you think you are—a contradiction of the most insidious nature, for how can you approve of a self you disapprove of?
In such a quandary all you can do is add disapproval to disapproval, in some twisted hope that somehow some trust or love of the self will ensue.
You take it for granted that something is wrong with you personally. As soon as you buy that you are in trouble, for you will begin to form significances in your behavior to bear out the proposition. This area, hidden, of course, will find materialization, sometimes generally, so that all portions of life have a drab grayness in which the self can never shine.
Other people will refuse such a situation, and accept one mar, or one mar after another—an organ after organ. Another person will lose job after job. Another person will never find a compatible mate. The symptom or symptoms will follow the area in which the person most strongly disapproves of himself—will hide, distort, or exaggerate those tendencies about which the person feels such disapproval.
I have told you steadily that Ruburt has no disease. Diseases are simply groups of symptoms that you have categorized in certain orders to begin with. He approved of his mind. For many reasons given in earlier sessions, he related mentally. Nothing wrong in that. You both had exaggerated ideas, or distorted ones, about the nature of creativity, and about people who were creative, and you considered yourselves rightly as creative people.
Ruburt knew that spontaneity was the basis of his creativity, and of anyone else’s. To that extent you disapproved of it. You felt it could be easily overdone, as say Bill Macdonnel or Van Gogh. Ruburt feared that spontaneity had to be tempered, because spontaneity meant unbridled, rampant, uncontrolled impulse. That belief is a basic one in your society—your religions and your sciences. So in feeling it you were both after all quite conventional.”
The Personal Sessions, book 4, Deleted Session January 7, 1978